3 STEPS TO FIND THE PERFECT GUY
by Darlene Jasso
Romance. Do they call it that these days? Or just dating? Or just hooking up? High school girls go through guys like they go through undergarments. In a recent article from the Huffington Post, Evan Manning wrote, “The minds of adolescents are not fully developed and therefore are not capable of knowing what is or isn’t beneficial in terms of romanticism at the time.” Perhaps, teens don’t even know what true love entitles, so why do they date? Although their hearts juggle between a never-ending cycle of love and heartbreak, their hearts ultimately stay at this constant state of brokenness. Their brains think of dating as an essential to life, and if they don’t find a “man” to call “theirs,” then their life will suddenly end. It’s heartbreaking actually because, yes, every girl wants to find that perfect guy who sweeps them off their feet and live the fairy tale life of falling in love and feeling like a princess. But you don’t have to date the first (or tenth) guy who calls you beautiful. Expecting to find your Prince Charming in that cute boy who winked at you after class, will surely lead you to disappointment. Just because he flirts with you doesn’t necessarily mean he will become your soul mate. But also, just because you don’t date every boy on the block, doesn’t mean you will end up alone. Read further for some simple steps into finding that perfect guy for you.
First off, stop searching. Stop searching and live your life in the moment, because you will never get that moment back. Instead of observing every guy who walks into the room and pre-planning your marriage to him, live in the moment with the people you came with. If your friends initiate the boy searching, let them know that you’re there with each other—not to search for men. When searching, women tend to fall for the first guy who might show some interest. Dating someone just for the sake of dating them leads to pure suicide to the heart. Stop searching for love in all the wrong places. Remember that God has a plan for you and His plan doesn’t even compare to any plans we may think of at any moment in our lifetime. Jeremiah 29:11 says it directly: “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” This doesn’t mean that you must stop talking to boys all-in-all; it just means that you need to let things happen if they are meant to happen.
Secondly, love yourself. Everyone has heard the cliché statement—“You must love yourself first before you can love anybody else.” Professor Clare Strockbine from St. Mary’s University wrote the book Mind Your Body Work Your Soul. She talks about the importance of the relationship with our self—“It is about [your] relationship with [yourself]—wanting to gain confidence and assuredness and feel good about who [you are]… It [is] about finding [yourself] and understanding more fully the person God [has] created for [you].” Seriously, if you don’t love yourself, how do you expect others to love you? Gaining self-worth and confidence helps with the love. People in this age don’t value themselves at all. Settling for less proves that you don’t value yourself. God doesn’t want to put you with someone who doesn’t value you as much as you’re worth. In loving yourself, you will find the value in loving others. Humans desire love. But enable to receive love, we need to know how to love. So, start loving yourself and wait for the love in return.
Lastly, be patient. Patience leads to a perfect relationship (and ultimately the perfect guy for you). Those who wait to date someone of worth, those who don’t settle for less, those who practice patience, end up with a happier ending to the beginning of a beautiful relationship. God has the most perfect timing. He will place the right guy in your life at the right time—for you and for the guy. All the perfectness takes place after falling in love with Christ first. Dance with Him for a while, and in His perfect timing, He will invite one of His sons to dance with you. Your perfect guy will come into your life when you least expect him to. Just trust and practice patience.
Remember, dating is not an essential to life right now. Ten years from now you’re not going to remember the guy you dated in middle school. When you fall in love with the person God has set for you, you will realize the treasure in patience. Don’t worry about finding the right guy right here or right now. Why worry about that stuff? God has already written your love story. So, live your life, love yourself, thank God for His unending blessings and expect the unexpected, because your Prince Charming will come when you’re least expecting it. And it will all happen in God’s hands.
Manning, Evan. “Are High School Relationships Worth It?” Huffington Post: The Blog. Huffingtonpost.com., 29 Nov. 2012. Web. 15 Feb. 2014
Strockbine, Clare. Mind Your Body Work Your Soul. Liguori, Missouri: Liguori Publications, 2013. Print.
New International Bible. Jeremiah 29:11. http://biblehub.com/jeremiah/29-11.htm. Web. 15 Feb. 2014.